Hiding Beneath The Layers
by Jlove00
Summary: Blair sees Dan after 3 years, but he's not the Dan she once knew.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is going to be an AU based off after 5x24. I wrote Dan a bit OOC because I wanted to make his character to be truly effected by Blair's actions. So Dan is a little darker in this fic. I just couldn't get this characterization of Dan out of my head. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter.**

* * *

They say leaving someone heartbroken only leaves a scar, but Blair didn't only leave him heartbroken, she burned him.

The last time she saw Dan Humphrey was when he was watching his father die

* * *

**3 years ago**

_Blair stood by the doorway watching Dan sitting on his chair by his sick father on the hospital bed. _

_She lightly knocked and he glanced over to find a small brunette in her white blouse and perfectly contrasted skirt standing by the doorway. He stepped outside of his father's hospital room to see what she wanted._

"_Hey," Blair said softly. "I know you hate me, but"_

"_You're not important enough for me to hate," Dan interrupted as his face hardened and his brows become tense._

"_I was important enough for you to profess your love to," Blair replied as her arms fold across her chest_

"_Yes, you were," Dan said with an emphasis on were. _

"_Well I'm happy you moved on, I won't have this guilt hanging over me anymore."_

"_Alright, bye." He turns his heel but she grabs his arm before he can take a step back into the hospital room._

"_I'm married," Blair said quietly. He turned around to see her looking down. "I just thought you should hear it from me."_

"_All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, you know that right." She nods as her eyes become watery. "Congratulations Blair, I'm happy for you." _

"_Humphrey, my condolences."_

_He glances over to find Chuck Bass in his Armani suit holding an envelope. It's obvious Chuck's heard about the book and could care less about Rufus. _

"_I'm not going to take your bribe Chuck." _

_Chuck stepped closer. "You know me well Humphrey." Chuck smirks. "But why don't you look at the amount, then decide." Chuck tries to hand the envelope to Dan. Dan takes it and crumples it, then tosses it in the trash bin. Chuck's smirk fades. "I get it, Blair dumped you, but I warned you Humphrey, you can't compete with me."_

"_Chuck," Blair scolds Chuck_

"_Come on Humphrey, did you really think Blair would choose some lowlife from Brooklyn." Chuck grins_

_He stepped closer to Chuck so they are only inches apart. There are no more repercussions, this is what they've turned him into. _

"_Yes, she picked you, but I was with Georgina this past summer and I know everything. I know that Blair is the only person who could ever love you. Your mother is alive and well, but she doesn't want anything to do with you, to your mother, you're just a regret. And as you already know, you're nothing to your father. He didn't even hesitate to walk away from you," Dan said with disgust _

_Chuck's nose was flaring while his hands were becoming fists. "You better watch your back," Chuck replies gritting his teeth._

"_Dan," Blair said softly. "I'm so sorry." She's starts to cry and touches his arm._

"_Don't touch me," Dan said as he pulled away. His eyes are squinting as his face is full of resentment. "I don't ever want to see the either of you again, stay the hell away from me." He turns his heel and walks back into the dark hospital room. _

* * *

She's left completely breathless watching Dan enter the party in Serena's arm. His eyes are sparkling, hair short, well-toned, and tan in his Valentino suit. They call him the new Brett Easton Ellis. She's heard the stories and knows he's not the Dan Humphrey she once knew.

He's Hollywood now

* * *

**I hope you guys didn't think the hospital scene was too mean, I don't plan on making Dan that cruel for the rest of the story, I just thought he would be very emotional being in the hospital with his dad ailing. I'm only going to continue this fic if I get enough reviews as I spending more time on another story so please let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, I was very flattered by the reviews. Thank you guys, it means a lot. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Gossip Girl characters.**

* * *

It's like she doesn't exist. Not once does he look at her.

Serena's glistening as she stands by his side the whole night. Blair hasn't spoken to Serena for over 3 years. If Blair was honest with herself, she missed Serena, she had become secluded. There wasn't anyone to talk to after her decision. She was truly all in. If her time wasn't spent with Chuck, she would be working under her mother for Waldorf designs.

Blair sighed with a drink in her hand as she waited for an opportunity to speak with Dan alone. After her decision, she still missed him. Her feelings for him didn't vanish. She followed him on Gossip Girl and other news outlets to learn that he split his time between L.A. and New York.

* * *

She scanned the room but couldn't find Dan anywhere so she decided to get a breath of fresh air by the balcony.

She finds him lighting a cigarette with his zippo lighter staring over the New York skyline.

"Waldorf, you're staring," Dan says as he inhales his cigarette and continues to look over the balcony.

It's completely stunning to see how different he looks. His skin glows and his shorter hair is perfectly sculpted with gel-wax.

"Hi," Blair greets him breathless as she is still in shock to see him standing in front of her.

Dan turns his body towards her while keeping the cigarette in his mouth. She watches him take her in but his face remains unreadable.

"Do you want one," He asks

"No," She replies and takes a step closer. He raises an eyebrow to her coming closer and she begins to second guess herself. This is different, she isn't use to him being like this, it's completely throwing her off. Typically, he would be rambling on, but now he has this cool demeanor to him. "How've you been?"

"Good, but I'm sure you already knew that," Dan teases. He's only arm's length away and she's taking in his Armani cologne. The only thing on her mind is figuring out a way to touch him.

"Yes Humphrey, I'll admit I've been keeping tabs on you." She notices his cold eyes on her bare finger. "We divorced a year ago." Blair looks down.

"What happened to destiny?" Dan lips curve slightly as he continues to inhale his cigarette

"Yes, well, he isn't in mine," She says as she feels the cool breeze against her bare arms

Blair knows he's not surprised with the divorce. No one was.

He flicks the cigarette to the ground. "It was nice catching up to you Waldorf." He walks past her back into the party as she watches him leave.

There was so much more she wanted to say, to ask.

* * *

**One year ago**

"_Dan Humphrey," Kyle said while holding Serena in his arm. _

"_Kyle right," Dan confirmed and Kyle nodded_

_Dan could barely make out Kyle's voice through the music that was playing. Kyle and Serena sat down at his private table. _

_Dan glanced downstairs to the dance floor to see if there was anyone worth flirting with. _

"_Dan, you're not being very friendly," Serena told him in a playful tone. _

_Kyle was Serena's latest fling. He didn't feel like wasting his time getting to know someone who he wasn't going be seeing for long._

"_I heard you're not a fan of Chuck Bass," Kyle asked as Dan raised an eyebrow_

"_No, he's not," Serena answered while smirking_

"_Well, I don't know if you heard, but Chuck's divorcing his wife." _

_Kyle just caught his attention. _

"_Really, I'm surprised that hasn't came out yet," Dan said as he leans in over the table. _

"_Yeah, apparently he caught his wife straddling another man when he came home early from some trip." Kyle's smiling and practically shouting over the music. "Karma's a bitch huh?"_

_Apparently it is_

* * *

The party was hosted by Nate and it was surprising to see Chuck not make an appearance. It was the first Upper East Side party Blair attended since the divorce. She spent the past year running Waldorf Designs with her mother and coming home to a penthouse where she would spend the rest of her night alone.

"Blair?"

Blair turns around to find Serena standing in her Donna Karan Belted Silk Dress.

"How've you been," Serena asks as she steps closer.

"Busy, you know, with Waldorf Designs," Blair says

"I know this must be awkward for you, but I heard about the divorce and I just wanted to give you my regards." Serena smiles lightly and touches Blair's arm with her hand.

"Thank you," Blair says softly. Serena nods then starts to walk away. "S."

Serena stops and glances at Blair. "Yes?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to can catch up. New York can be really lonely."

Serena smiles warmly. "Yeah, I'd like that."

* * *

Blair's arrives in Soho and is greeted by Serena. Serena's penthouse is 2700 square feet of plush and rich hardwood floors, high loft ceilings, and a beautifully crafted spiral staircase. The walls of the penthouse are windows and its gives a clear view of the New York skyline.

They catch up with topics that cover fashion, boys, and gossip over tea. Blair also discovers Serena works as a model and dropped out of school completely _which is so Serena_ she thinks.

"You can talk to me about the divorce you know, I won't judge," Serena tells Blair while placing her hand on Blair's arm.

"It just fizzled out, that's really the best way I can describe it."

Their conversation is interrupted by a knock. Serena leaves, but when she walks back in, Blair is surprised to see Nate behind her.

"Archibald? What are you doing here," Blair asks while sitting on a white couch.

"Me and Dan were going to grab some food," Nate replies while going into the kitchen as Serena follows.

Blair hears the footsteps coming from the stairs. Her stomach is clenching and her heart is beating so hard she's sure they can hear it.

She glances over to find Dan walking downstairs in his light grey cotton Henley Tee unbuttoned and black jeans with dark brown suede boots. Blair notices how different his body is. He's still lean, but slightly bigger with his chest and arms being more defined.

"Dan, you ditched me last night," Serena says accusingly. "We were supposed to leave together."

Dan doesn't notice Blair sitting on the couch and continues to head towards the kitchen.

"First of all, once I'm drunk, the plan goes out the window, secondly, your sketchy friend was all over me," Dan replies as he stands next to Nate who is taking a bite out of an apple.

"So you leave me?" Serena looks at him quizzically

"Dan," Blair says softly interrupting their conversation. She watches Dan turn around to see her standing by the entrance of the kitchen. "You live here? With Serena?" Blair hates how sad her voice sounds

"Blair, this is Dan's penthouse, he bought it. I just," Serena says

"She's my roommate," Dan interrupts and gives Serena a reassuring smile.

"Anyways, I think me and Dan are going to head out," Nate says as he is trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

"We'll join you," Blair replies tersely.

Blair doesn't know why she said it. It was just a reaction to Dan leaving. She already mended things with Serena and this was her chance to get Dan back in her life as well.

* * *

It's the same yet it's different. Blair's enjoying her time with Nate and Serena, but Dan is uncharacteristically quiet and he never takes a peek at her, even with the corner of his eyes.

Nate would tell her about Dan and his transition into a playboy. After his father passed away, Dan took up drinking as a hobby. His eyes became cold and his heart stopped beating. The only thing Dan Humphrey worried about was himself.

"Dan?" Blair glanced over to see a porcelain skinned petite brunette sitting from across their table. The brunette walked over while carrying a radiant smile. "Dan Humphrey, I thought that was you."

"Liz? I haven't seen you since the premiere," Dan says smiling while Blair's eyes narrowed at Liz

Blair hated Elizabeth Brown and her weak attempt to portray Claire Carlisle.

"Guys, this is Liz. Liz, this is Serena." Dan points to Serena

"Oh yeah, Serena Van Der Woodsen. I've seen you in Beatrice Inn before," Liz says as Serena smiles.

"Yeah, and this is my best friend Nate, he runs the Spectator." Dan points to Nate with his hands and Liz smiles. "And this is..aaaah," Dan snaps his fingers and pretends to be thinking. "Um, I'm sorry, what was your name again," Dan teases as Blair glares at him

"Blair Waldorf," Blair introduces herself

_How dare he!_ Blair thinks. Blair feels completely irate with Dan. If there was one thing that rang true about Blair Waldorf, it was that she was unforgettable. She hated how Dan knew what to do to get under her skin. She wanted to smack him upside the head, but she couldn't because it wasn't very lady like. She'll just have to wait until they're somewhere more private.

Liz decided to join them for lunch listening to her talk was a complete bore. All she could think about was figuring out if Dan slept with Liz and couldn't get the image out of her head. She loathed watching him laugh and touch her arm.

"How long are you staying in New York for," Dan asks while taking a sip of his glass of bourbon

"My flight's tomorrow night," Liz replies

"Really, then you should come over, my place is right around the corner." Dan licks his lips and gives a light smile.

Blair has to admit, this new Dan has moves. His smile is very seductive and his eyes are warm. Even she melted to his smile and it wasn't meant for her.

"Okay, yeah. Let me just freshen up," Liz answers and beams.

"Alright, I'll be outside." Dan watches Liz head for the bathroom then gets up and tosses bills on the table. "I'll see you guys later." Dan heads out of the restaurant

Blair knew she had no right to be jealous, but she couldn't help herself. Throughout her marriage, a part of her was with him and she hated it. Dan would always remain in the back of her mind. He was always going to be known to her as _what could have been._

* * *

Blair finds Dan smoking a cigarette outside and in front of the restaurant waiting for Liz.

"Isn't it a little creepy for you to be having sex with someone who played me in a movie," Blair says with more bite then she intended. She watched him turn to face her and he didn't look pleased with her comment.

"Wasn't it a little creepy being the third wheel to Chuck and Jack Bass, who has Hepatitis C by the way, you may want to go to a clinic." Dan retorts

Blair was rendered speechless. A part of her wanted to slap him but the other part felt like she deserved it. She should've known it was too early for their regular banter. Blair was just trying to get them back to normal.

"I know what you're trying to do, but stop, it's not going to happen," Dan says

"Will you for once just listen to my side of the story," Blair exclaims

"I don't need to hear it, it won't change anything. I want nothing to do with you," Dan replies adamantly

"Oh because you were perfect, I mean it's not like you slept with Serena or destroyed our reputation with a book," Blair says haughtily folding her arms across her chest defensively.

"I'm not the asking for forgiveness. I could care less how you feel about me," Dan says while meeting her gaze.

"Fine, it won't be a problem hating you then, I did it throughout high school. It was my mistake for trying to be the bigger person." Blair retorts giving him a false sweet smile.

Dan doesn't say anything. He just turns away and continues to smoke. He seems to be unaffected by her words and it just irritates her more.

Blair gives him one final glance, but he won't even look at her. She walks away crushed and defeated with her throat becoming scratchy and her eyes becoming watery. She missed her Dan so much, but it was clear there was no way getting through to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews and constructive criticism. Also, I'm introducing a new character named Erin in this chapter. She'll play a major role in this story and at times, the story will be in her P.O.V.**

* * *

Blair's mother decided to host breakfast for Lily. It wasn't surprising to find Erin Whaley being invited as well. Erin's her mother's protégé and she works as a designer for Waldorf Designs which is surprising because she's only 23. Erin isn't only talented, she's beautiful. Her dirty blonde hair shines and her hazel-green eyes sparkle.

Being around Chuck was still uncomfortable, but they both knew they had to put the past behind and move towards the future. It also helped watching Chuck become infatuated with Erin because it meant he was over her.

* * *

The room fell quiet once they heard the elevator ding. Lily informed them that Serena would be attending which was a surprise since Serena hardly spoke to her mother. But it was even more surprising to see Dan walking in by Serena's side in a white polo and navy blue pants. It had been 3 weeks since she had seen Dan. After their conversation turned sour, she realized she didn't need to mend things with him. If he wanted to move on, so could she.

"Eleanor, don't you look pretty today," Dan says as he smiles and pulls up a chair in the dining room.

"Oh Daniel please," Eleanor giggles while Blair glares at Eleanor

Blair notices Lily staring into Dan's eyes and getting lost in the memories of her ex-husband.

"What the hell is Humphrey doing here," Chuck asks looking disgusted at the appearance of Dan

"I invited him Chuck, I don't remember anyone inviting you," Serena responds as Chuck rolls his eyes

"So how is everything Daniel," Lily asks to lighten the tension

"It's going well, my third novel came out last month so I'm just enjoying my free time right now," Dan says

"Daniel, I don't mean to be intrusive, but may I ask if you're dating anyone," Eleanor asks as she gives Dan a bright smile.

Blair knows what her mother's up to. Eleanor clearly thinks Dan would be perfect for Erin. Her mother has wanted to set Erin up with Dan since she found Erin reading Dan's third novel in her office.

"Of course he isn't, he's still having trouble getting over someone," Blair replies with a sweet fake smile.

"Yeah, it's been hard to get over Serena, you know how it is with first love." Dan smirks as Serena giggles and Blair rolls her eyes.

"Mr. Dan, so good to see you," Dorota says as she walks up to Dan and smiles.

"Dorota." Dan looks up to see Dorota standing by his side and smiles warmly. "I'm glad you're here." Dan takes out a small navy blue box from his pocket and hands it to Dorota. "I saw these earrings when I was in London and I thought of Ana. I just couldn't get over how perfect they are for her. I know she's young, but I think it's never too early for jewelry, even if you're not using it."

"Mr. Dan, I couldn't take this."

"Yes you can, it's for all the birthdays I've missed." Dorota smiles

"Thank you," Dorota says softly

Dan's gift for Ana reminded Blair how sweet he can be. How completely humble he still is even after his success. He doesn't think of Dorota as beneath him, which she can't say for the majority of the Upper East Side.

* * *

Erin watches Chuck taking her in as they're standing outside the balcony of the Waldorf penthouse. His eyes look dark and filled with lust which makes her feel at unease.

"I would make sure he doesn't slip anything in your drink," Dan says with a smug smile and enters the balcony.

Erin notices the dark haired author step closer and finds herself to be intrigued with him. He caused quite a stir at breakfast as she could notice the tension in the room.

"Scram Humphrey, you're not wanted here," Chuck replies

Dan looks at Erin. "Apparently, I have to leave." Dan lips curve slightly as Erin starts to giggle.

"Why are you even here Humphrey? So you can leech off us and gather new material for your next book," Chuck says.

"Yeah, but I think I found it, my 4th novel is going to be on a husband coming home to find his wife riding another man," Dan retorts.

"I see you got some balls now." Chuck smirks. "Good for you." Erin watches Chuck turn his heels to head back into the penthouse

"Chuck Bass seems to be into you. Soon he'll be whispering in your ear" Dan teases as she glances back at Dan.

"He's actually already done that, but I found it to be a little weird," Erin replies and Dan chuckles. "We're actually just acquaintances."

"I'm Dan by the way."

"Erin" Erin smiles

_Things just got a little interesting_

* * *

Blair's been trying to evade the subject, but she knew she would have to talk about it at some point. She's been avoiding going out with Serena and coming over because of Dan.

"B, it's a Saturday, why don't you come get a drink with us tonight," Serena asks as she takes a bite of her salad in the cafe.

"I can't, I have a big deadline on Monday for work," Blair says avoiding Serena's eyes as she sips on her coffee.

"You're so lying to me right now," Serena voice rises as she smiles. "You haven't been over and we never go out."

"It's just this whole Dan situation, if it was just us, then I would go, but Dan being there would only cause tension in which I could do without."

"Oh, I didn't realize Blair Waldorf was scared of Dan Humphrey," Serena teases and grins

"Shut up," Blair shouts. "You don't understand, I tried to apologize, but he's being total jackass about it."

"Can I ask you something," Serena asks

"Yeah"

"Why did you choose Chuck," Serena asks quietly

Blair didn't expect this question coming. She always thought Dan would be the one asking her and not the blue eyed blonde staring at her waiting for an answer.

"I was completely stunned when you chose Chuck over Dan. I even sent Penelope to stall you from meeting Dan because I was so sure you would chose him. I mean he wrote a whole book idolizing you," Serena continues.

Serena looks down at her food and starts to stir nervously. "Maybe I don't understand because I was in love with Dan," Serena says timidly.

"I was torn between the two and I didn't have much time, I was freaking out. I just couldn't let go of Chuck. I thought he changed and I believed we were inevitable," Blair explains as Serena reaches for Blair's hand and Blair can feel her eyes beginning to burn.

"But then on the rooftop, Chuck completely demeans me. I felt so humiliated and disgusted, but what was I supposed to do, beg for Dan to take me back."

During that summer, she started to miss Dan more and more as the days passed. Chuck was self-consuming, his main concern was Bass Industries and it would always come first in their relationship.

Throughout their time together, she always questioned her worth because Chuck didn't make her feel strong. Being equals wasn't important to him. She would constantly play back the memory of Dan on the stairs telling her, _that's too bad, because if you could only see what I see_.

"Do you love him," Serena asks

"What? No I don't love Dan." Blair seems startled by Serena's question. "I think I did at one point, but then I discovered the sextape of you two." She notices Serena wince

"And now?"

"I saw him at Nate's party for the first time, and all these feelings came back, but I know it's not happening. I wish we could at least be friends."

"So do I." Serena smiles warmly

* * *

After taking a nice long soothing bath, Blair heads to her bedroom to change into her cream colored satin nightdress which is resting on her bed.

"Please, don't mind me"

Blair glances over to find Dan leaning against her doorway with a smug smile and his hands in his pockets. She notices the perfectly chiseled chest through the cotton tee he's wearing and his custom dark blue trousers contrast perfectly with his tee.

"Humphrey! Get out," Blair screams as she makes sure to hold on to the towel wrapped around her body

"Don't pretend like you're not excited to see me," Dan says. She watches him step closer while scanning the room. He suddenly stops and notices his novel in her dresser. "I didn't know you were a fan." He picks _Midnight Stars_ up from her dresser. "I thought you would've stopped reading my work after the second novel."

He's taller then she remembers. Maybe it's because she isn't wearing heels.

"Don't be so amused, I use it as a stepping stool for books I can't reach," Blair replies haughtily as Dan grins and looks over his book. "How did you even get up here?"

"You forget Dorota likes me."

_Of course_ she thinks while rolling her eyes.

"What do you want? I don't have much time as I have somewhere to be," Blair says tersely. She notices him only standing arm's length away and she can feel the heat of his body wavering through.

"What are you talking about? It's late and you have work tomorrow," Dan replies while looking at her skeptically.

"Get on with it Humphrey," Blair says gritting her teeth.

"Serena's been nagging me for days. Apparently you've been avoiding her and it's because of me."

"Yes, as you've made it clear, you don't want anything to do with me." Blair retorts defensively while folding her arms across her chest.

Dan looks down as he rubs the back of his head nervously. "I did say that." He looks back up. "But, I would truly be honored if you would attend Serena's party on Saturday."

"Shut up," Blair says as she rolls her eyes.

"Well it seems like you're fighting a smile so I'll take that as a yes." Dan smiles while looking down at her and meeting her gaze.

"I suppose you could say that," Blair says as she feels a lump in in her throat while his eyes are burning through hers.

"So, are you going to drop that towel or what," Dan says as he leans in.

Blair puts her hands on his perfect chest to stop him from leaning any closer. "Your moves won't work on me Dan," Blair replies

"Then push me," Dan says softly

"I don't think I can," Blair whispers as she presses her perfectly manicured nails against his chest and doesn't leave his gaze. She could feel his fingertip beginning to graze her cleavage and slide towards her towel. "What are you waiting for," Blair asks breathily

_Knock Knock_

Dan glances back at Blair's door.

Blair clears her throat. "Come in," Blair says.

The door opens and they find Eleanor on the other side of the doorway.

"Daniel, what are you doing here," Eleanor asks as her eyebrows furrow in confusion and she walks into Blair's bedroom.

"Serena's hosting a formal party at our penthouse and I was just inviting Blair," Dan answers while turning to face Eleanor.

"Oh, well then you should invite Erin as well. She's actually in my office right now," Eleanor says

"Of course, I'll head down there now and give you two some privacy," Dan replies. Dan glances back to Blair. "I'll see you at the party."

And with that he's gone leaving her with more questions than answers.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews! Keep them coming. Also, a new chapter from my other fanfic, "The Queen is Dead" should be updated within the end of this week. **

**Disclaimer: If only I owned the characters of Gossip Girl**

* * *

The days leading up to Serena's party had been filled with work and phone conversations with Serena on what to wear, but now it's Saturday and she's in her town car waiting for Erin. Blair and Erin decided it would be best if they attended the party together.

Once Erin entered the car, Blair noticed how stunning she looked as her asymmetrical silk dress fit seamlessly.

Blair enjoys their conversations and considers Erin a friend. She's an easygoing person with a sunny personality. They're polar opposites, yet they work.

"Is Claire from _Inside_ really based on you," Erin asks sitting on the leather seats as they wait to reach Dan's penthouse. Blair was a bit thrown off by Erin's curiosity because they typically discuss fashion.

"Yes," Blair replies tapping her nails against the seat.

"Wow, that must've of been pretty flattering." Erin grins and brushes her hair behind her shoulders.

"It was at first, but then the sequel was released and it illustrated what he really thought of me," Blair says staring out the window.

"Oh, right, the sequel was very different, it was darker, but I didn't think Claire was portrayed badly, if anything, I felt sympathetic for her."

Blair glances over at Erin and smiles.

.

.

She's greeted by a radiant Serena and finds the party to be very trendy. There are around 15 people actually in attendance which makes it very spacious to maneuver. She doesn't recognize any of the guests but assumes their models and photographers Serena's met through the years.

Serena leads them to the kitchen where they find Nate and Dan chatting before she heads back to attend to her guests.

"Humphrey," Blair greets. "Do you even own a tie?" She hates to admit it, but she doesn't mind that he keeps the collar of his dress shirt unbuttoned, it suits him.

Dan chuckles lightly. "Waldorf, overdressed as usual," Dan teases as Blair smiles. Dan looks over to Erin. "Hey Erin, you've met Nate right?"

"Unfortunately," Erin states looking at Nate disapprovingly

"Yes, we found little Natie in my bedroom with Erin's sister," Blair tells Dan while her arms are folded across her chest as Nate grins standing proud.

"How long have you guys been in the kitchen," Erin asks as she watches Dan pours himself a glass of bourbon from the cabinet.

"Basically the whole night," Nate replies and reaches for the bourbon to pour himself a drink.

"Yeah, we don't know anyone here, it's just a bunch of Serena's stuck up friends," Dan continues then glances over at Nate. "Remind you of someone?" Dan smirks

"Shut up," Blair yells as Nate and Dan laugh

At first, Blair was hesitant about going to the party after the towel incident with Dan. She thought it would be awkward, but now, she's having fun and it's reminiscent of old times.

.

.

Erin watches Dan's eyes light up as he speaks to Blair. They both seem very amused with each other. It's not difficult to recognize how different Blair acts around him. She seems more open and there is a lot less bite to her. She looks happy.

"I honestly can't tell whose gay," Eric says exasperatedly as he walks by them into the kitchen after speaking to a well-dressed man in the corner of the living room.

"What the hell is Serena wearing," Nate asks humorously looking confused

Erin glanced over to Serena and couldn't help but laugh. She had to admit it was a bit slutty, her dress showed a little too much leg and her cleavage was too revealing.

"She has a thing for the guy with a moustache. He's some photographer she's worked with." Dan points with his drink to where the man is standing.

Erin finds Serena overtly flirting with the man Dan was pointing towards. She remembers a time in which Serena was the It Girl. Every man looked at her as though she was a goddess, but times have changed and it seems Serena's lost her appeal. To most, she's just another model now.

.

.

Blair never thought Dan Humphrey would ever have a bedroom like this. It's very modern and his king size bed is very low to the floor. His walls are large windows that slide open to a balcony that gives a view of New York City.

"So what do you think Waldorf," Dan asks as he has one hand in the pocket of his pants and the other holding a drink.

She couldn't lie, it was amazing. Everything contrasted perfectly. "You've done well for yourself Humphrey," Blair says overhearing chatter below them from the party.

She follows his eyes to find him staring over at a guitar on a stand in the corner of the room near the flat screen TV on the wall. A frown begins to form on his face and for the first time tonight, there was darkness in his eyes.

"Dan?" Dan glances over at Blair and the darkness from his eyes begins to fade. "Is that guitar your fathers?"

"Yeah," Dan says and forms a light smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He begins to look down at his drink. "Sometimes I wonder why the world is so cruel to the Humphrey's."

Her heart aches from hearing those words come out of his mouth. She wonders who was there for him when he watched his father slowly deteriorate after the sessions of chemo. Blair knew Serena wasn't there, she was too busy on her drug binge and Jenny was a mess.

As he turns to face her, all she can think about is finding a way to comfort him, but in their situation, it's difficult. She wants to hold him and promise him a better future, but she doesn't know how Dan would react to her touch. The only way is with words, but she was never good with words.

"You should put that drink down." Blair steps closer and reaches for his glass feeling his fingers on hers while meeting his gaze.

"The alcohol brings numbness."

"It won't last forever," She says softly taking the glass from his hand and placing it on the dresser to the side of his bed. Once she glances back to him and finds his face is filled animosity.

"Humphrey, I didn't know you were this desperate. Scavenging over my leftovers?"

Blair turns around to find Chuck standing in front of the doorway. She didn't think Chuck was invited, but knowing Chuck, he probably saw the Gossip Girl blast about her attending this party with Erin.

Dan clears his throat. "Serena's probably looking for me, I should head downstairs," Dan says and walks past Chuck heading downstairs not looking at her once.

.

.

After the party was over, Erin left and Blair decided to stay so she could help Serena clean up. While rearranging the food in the fridge, she overheard voices coming from the living room.

As she slightly popped her head out of the kitchen, she found Nate and Dan having a conversation by the large window. The lights where off and half of Dan's face was covered with the darkness of the room as they stared out the window.

"When are you leaving for L.A.," Nate inquires

She knows it's wrong, but it's too tempting to eavesdrop on their conversation. Besides, if it was a private conversation, they could've gone to Dan's room.

"I'm leaving at the end of the summer, but I'll be back within 2 months, it's not like I'm writing a novel."

She heard Dan disappeared while writing his third novel. Serena hadn't heard his voice in 6 months. Apparently, he rented out a secluded cabin and lived there until he finished his book.

Nate begins to smirk. "You're coming back? You don't usually spend more than 3 months in New York," Nate teases. "Is the reason a girl?" Nate arches an eyebrow

Dan smiles. "Maybe."

Her heart clenched to his response. She waited for a more in depth answer, but it never came. The conversation steered towards soccer and she was left with a maybe. She had to be the girl right?

.

.

Erin was surprised to receive a call from Dan. He asked her out to dinner and now, she sitting across from him, staring into his adorable eyes.

It's clear Eleanor's behind this, she's been pushing her towards Dan for weeks now, but Erin didn't understand why. Yes, she hasn't dated anyone for a year now, but that's only because she's busy and she attracts people like Chuck Bass.

As dinner progressed and they began to converse more and she began to understand why Eleanor pushed her towards him. It was not only because she was a fan of his writing, but also because he's genuine.

"You remind me of Dylan Hunter," Erin states while taking a sip of her wine. "Which is surprising because Gossip Girl and the tabloids portray you very differently."

His lips begin to curve. "You read Gossip Girl," Dan teases and grins

"It's a guilty pleasure." She smiles coyly

"To answer your question, yes, Dylan is based on the younger version of me. I also want to point out I'm less judgmental." Dan smiles

She can feel the table slightly vibrating from Dan's leg shifting up and down rapidly. He's nervous and she finds it amusing. She heard Dan is suave with women, yet, he's sitting in front of her feeling as nervous as her.

She thinks she's going to like Dan Humphrey

.

.

Somehow Blair was dragged into watching _The Bounty __Hunter_ with Serena. It was girl's night in and unfortunately, Serena is a Jennifer Aniston fan.

The front door opens and they glance back to find Dan walking in.

"Why don't you join us, we're watching _The Bounty Hunter_," Serena asks.

Dan's face begins to grimace and she can't help but laugh. Now that it's two against one, maybe they can pick another movie

Before Dan can answer, Serena receives a call from the photographer she's into and heads towards her room to continue the conversation.

Blair glances at him and she sees a light smile forming.

"I don't think I can watch this movie," Dan says as he sits next to Blair on the couch with his knees touching hers and they meet each other's gaze.

"Well, we don't have a choice, your roommate is a Jennifer Aniston fanatic."

As they wait for Serena, she begins to think about Dan and Serena and what they do together. It's pretty clear they don't watch movies when together. Her mind begins to wander off and she thinks they've probably had sex multiple times in this apartment. On a drunken lonely night, why wouldn't they, it's Dan and Serena.

"Why did you have sex with Serena?" Blair turns to her body and knees to face Dan.

At first Dan seems startled by the questions but then his eyes become focused. He had to of known they would have to talk about it at some point.

"I move on quickly Blair, you know that. I'm not Chuck Bass. I'm not going to pine over you and become obsessive. I'm going to let you go because that's what you want."

"But you hurt me," Blair added softly

"It shouldn't have hurt, you had Chuck," Dan replies softly and Blair avoids his eyes. He touches her knee with his warm hand and she looks back at him to meet his gaze. "I really hope we can be friends because I need you, you make me happy."

Blair lips begin to curve slightly and nods causing Dan to smile.

"Now, let's get Serena drunk so we can watch a real movie," Dan teases and Blair laughs

* * *

**I just want to point out that Blair already knows Dan thought she chose Chuck when he had sex with Serena. To be clear, I'm not trying to defend Dan for his actions by sleeping with Serena. I just believe this is what his response would be. The first time Serena and him broke up, he made out with Georgina right after. The second time they broke up, he had sex with Mrs. Carr right after.**

**Also, I know some of you guys might not be the biggest fans of Erin, but I think she is an important addition to the story so I hope you can bear with me. If you guys would like to know if Dan ends with Blair by the end of the story, you can just PM me and I'll let you know. **


	5. Chapter 5

She can't get there fast enough. Her wrist is throbbing and the tears won't stop falling. Things were said aloud that were never supposed to.

When everything crumbles, he'll be there, she knows it.

.

She cleans up herself up before reaching his door. Mascara off, tears back where their supposed to be. She doesn't know what she expects from him, all she can think about is being in his presence.

"Blair Waldorf, it's been weeks," Dan greets giving her a warm smile while chewing his gum. She notice's him begin to take in her appearance. "Come in"

She slides in not taking her eyes off him.

"Are you hungry," he asks and she shakes her head. Dan furrows his brows closer together. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just thought we could watch a movie," she replies hoarsely as her throat is still scratchy from the yelling and crying.

She follows his eyes to her wrist which is beginning to become purple and his face looks unreadable as he continues to chew his gum.

Dan puts out his hand and she doesn't hesitate to take it. He leads her into the living room to sit on his white leather sofa. She watches him kneel down in front of her and lightly graze her purple skin with his fingers.

He looks up to meet her gaze. "It looks like a bruise, but I don't think you need any balm. It should heal within 5 to 10 days."

"But it hurts," Blair says softly as she feels her tears prickling out.

Dan gives her a light smile and nods. She watches him stand up to leave the living room.

Within a minute, he's back in the room holding a medicine bottle and an ounce of balm. She watches him kneel down in front of her again.

"This." Dan shakes the medicine bottle in front of her. "Is vitamin C tablets, take these, it will help heal your bruise faster," he continues. He then places the vitamin C bottle on his glass coffee table and begins to gently rub the balm on her bruise gently with the tips of his fingers. Her skin begins to burn with his touch as she watches him intently.

"You're trouble Waldorf." Dan smiles and stares up to meet her gaze as he continues to rub the balm on her wrist. She's completely absorbed in his eyes. Once his fingers leave her wrist, she feels slightly disappointed.

"Thank you," She says softly

He stands up and takes her hand. "Why don't we head into my room, Serena's going to be coming with her new guy soon."

.

She's lying on his bed with her back leaning against his headboard watching him make a drink from the mini bar in his room.

"You've lost a lot of weight," Dan states while having his back facing her as he continues to make his drink.

He's the first person to say it or even notice. Everyone's been busy with their lives. No one has time to worry about Blair Waldorf.

He turns to face her holding his drink. "You were what, a 105 when we dated? What are you now?"

"90 pounds"

She notices a hint of surprise creep up on his face, but it goes away quickly and he sits on the edge of his bed with his knee grazing her toes.

"I really miss that brunette I worked with at W." His eyes are on his drink as leg is folded under his knee with the other leg hanging off the edge of the bed. "I haven't seen her in a long time, but I hope to meet her again someday." He looks back up to meet her graze

"I hope so too," Blair says softly

"There are times I still dream about her, even write about her." Dan smiles to himself

"That was her in _Midnight Stars_ wasn't it," she asks

"You read it?"

"Of course," she replies watching him take another sip from his drink. "I'm still her you know."

Dan shakes his head. "You're not." She can't help but feel a little hurt by his answer. "The Blair Waldorf I know would have never been under the shadow of her mother. She was her own person, she wasn't going to take a job that was handed to her. I mean, it's not even what you wanted to do, it just seems like you gave in."

She's speechless. Words aren't coming out and tears are rolling down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," Dan whispers

Blair shakes her head. "Don't be, your just being honest. You know me better than anyone"

Dan smiles. "Do you want to stay here for the night?"

She does, he knows she doesn't want to be alone tonight.

Blair nods. "Will you stay with me, at least until I'm asleep."

"Yeah," Dan says softly and slides his way over to lay next to her.

.

Later, she hears the bed stir, he thinks she's sleeping, but she's not. He slides off the bed to her disappointment. He then leans in to kiss her forehead before heading out.

_He still cares_

.

Blair told her minions to gather as much information as they could about Erin, but in the end, they found nothing. Erin was perfect.

Penelope on the other hand was able to steal Dan's diary when she had tea with Serena. Blair knew it was wrong, but she had to read it, she needed to see if there was any hope they could get back together.

It made her heart clench when she found out the diary was based on the dates of before and during their relationship.

.

**April 25, 2011**

_I just got dragged into tie shopping with Blair. She wants me to be a part of another one of her schemes which doesn't really make any sense. I think she just wants to kiss me again. It's obvious she finds me beneath her and is ashamed to admit the kiss meant something more. _

_When she said, "you and I are madly in love," I looked at her and imagined what it would be like. Yes, it's a little too early to be in love, but I can't help but feel like it would be easy to fall in love with her. She's funny, smart, probably smarter than me, and beautiful. In all honesty, I really like this girl. She's been constantly in my mind I can't stop writing about her. A part of me feels like I was always in love with her. Like it was always in the back of mind that this girl is special. _

**May 17, 2011**

_I didn't think it would hurt this much. Blair left for Monaco and I was only left with an invitation to her royal wedding. I really do love her, it's clear. But I'm not good enough for her. It wouldn't be fair for me to throw my feelings out there and ruin her dream. She's too good for me. I don't deserve her. She deserves to be a princess. I know she'll do an amazing job. Blair oozes with potential, I don't know anyone who has her will. I'm just happy she's finally over Chuck. She deserves so much better than him. He'll always try to lower her to his standards, but I hope she's finally broken the cycle. I would rather have her be married to the prince then be with me because at least she'll be in France away from Chuck. She'll be able to move on to greater and better things and fulfill her potential. I know that there won't be a day I won't think about her, a day that I don't dream about her, but at least she's happy. Just because she's my soulmate, doesn't mean I'm hers. She found her prince, and I'm truly happy for her. _

**May 17, 2012**

_Blair came by today after Gossip Girl was sending out blasts of her diary. I know she's torn with her decision. After talking to her, it's clear sex isn't the issue, it's emotion. So I gave her an ultimatum, but I know she'll choose him. I feel numb thinking about, I don't think my heart's beating anymore. I love her so much, she's it for me, there is no one else, there will be no one else. It will take her some time, but she'll realize that it was always supposed to be Dan and Blair, not Chuck and Blair. When she does, I'm afraid it'll be too late. I'm already letting her go. I can't wait for her anymore._

_Right now, she loves the idea of Chuck. She believes he's a changed man, yet he slept with my agent while claiming to love Blair. I know what it's like to love Blair and I couldn't imagine touching anyone else. She thinks Chuck's going to give her the world. They'll constantly be in the public light, and they'll be known as one of the most powerful couples in New York. She wants power and I understand that I'm not enough right now. I'm just Dan Humphrey from Brooklyn. _

_What do you do when someone you love is about to go back into a downward spiral. I've tried to protect her as much as I could. Now, she's going to fall into the dark path in which she began and I can't do anything about it. All I can do is move on._

.

Blair's made a lot of mistakes in the past, but this one hurts the most. That night, she cries herself to sleep thinking about Dan.

* * *

**I'm sorry I didn't make the diary entries flow well. I just thought it would make more sense if they didn't since they're only personal thoughts.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: To answer the reviewer's question, Chuck was the one who hurt Blair's wrist. Also, I will be using the song "Change is Hard" from the band She and Him in this chapter. Thank you for the reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

"Dan, you have to come to the Empire tonight," Erin pleads

There is a 4th of July party at the Empire, but there is no way she can convince Dan to attend. Erin knows he feels a slight hatred towards Chuck, and Dan Humphrey doesn't hate many people. To her surprise, she's found Dan to be a kind and gentle man, but his demeanor completely changes around Chuck.

"No thanks," Dan replies leaning his back against the sink holding a dish towel.

"Why do you hate him so much, don't let your pride get in the way of fun," Serena states leaning her back against the kitchen counter.

Erin notices Dan's jaw clenching

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dan looks at Serena incredulously and Serena looks muddled with his reaction.

"My pride. My pride! "Dan yells and Serena recoils as Erin's eyes widen. "Are you forgetting the time we caught him assaulting my sister? Oh but why the hell would you care, Chuck can do no wrong to you. It's not like you care about me."

"Dan," Erin's says softly and steps closer to cup his cheek. "Calm down."

"No, fuck you Serena, you're such a shitty friend, and not only to me, but to Blair as well. All you ever did was push her towards Chuck no matter what he did."

Dan tosses his dish towel to the kitchen counter and storms out heading upstairs as Serena is rendered speechless.

Erin notices there is something off about Dan, he doesn't typically act this way.

.

To Erin's surprise, she finds Dan attending the Empire party. After he shouted at Serena, Erin tried to comfort him but he wasn't talking about it so she left to get dressed for the party.

She pulls him into a dark secluded room.

"You lost your cool today tiger." Erin smirks as her back is against the wall and Dan is leaning on his hand which is above her shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that," Dan says softly while Erin plays with his lapels. "I know how important this party is for Waldorf Designs."

"It's okay," Erin whispers

Dan smiles. "My sister's coming to visit in a week. I'd really like you to meet her."

From what Dan's told her, his sister's very mature for her age. She works in the fashion industry and currently lives in Paris.

"Great, I'm excited to meet her." Erin grins

"Dan Humphrey, just the man I was looking for."

Dan glances across and finds Chuck outside the doorway in the hall standing in the light.

"Come with me," Chuck says

.

Chuck watches Dan step into his bedroom with his slim fit black Armani suit and skinny tie.

He hands Dan a glass of scotch. "I saw on Gossip Girl that Blair went over your place after," Chuck says while Dan takes the drink from Chuck's hand.

It's been 3 weeks since his fight with Blair, she hasn't spoken to him since and he figures Humphrey might have something to do with it.

Dan takes a sip and his eyes squint as the alcohol reaches his throat. "She did," Dan confirms

"I can understand why you would think it looked bad, but it wasn't like that," Chuck tries to explain

"I know, we all know, you were drunk, it was a mistake, you were only trying to stop her from leaving."

Dan can pretend he doesn't care, but he does. Chuck notices Dan's eyes judging him.

"Do you know she told me she wasn't in love with me anymore? And this is after we were going to run away together." Chuck smiles to himself while staring at his drink. "She left me for you." Chuck looks back at Dan.

"It doesn't matter, she chose you," Dan states and looks confused as to where this conversation is going.

"She did, but it was clear she had feelings for you. How could she be in love with me while having feelings for you?" Chucks brows furrow together in confusion. "It's not fair to me."

"I know, none of it makes sense, but I think she was just lost," Dan replies while putting his drink down on the dresser.

"I want you to stay away from her," Chuck warns Dan while turning to look at him

"Or what, we're not kids anymore, there's nothing you can threaten me with." Dan scowls at Chuck.

"You've been waiting for this, haven't you Humphrey," Chuck says looking at Dan with disgust.

"I can't believe you're not over her yet, I mean get a fucking life."

"You'll never understand us, this is what we do, we break up and the game starts again," Chuck's voice rises

"Is that why you went after Erin? To make Blair jealous," Dan asks. "You really are ridiculous." Dan shakes his head in disbelief

"Just stay away from her," Chuck says

.

2 weeks have passed since Blair's last spoken to Dan. He's still upset about her reading his diary. Serena told Dan about Penelope's visit and Dan put it together. He hasn't answered her calls and avoids her anytime she's with Serena. Now she's standing by the bar with Nate and Erin at the 4th of July party.

"Have you guys noticed anything off about Dan," Erin inquires

"No, he seems normal to me," Blair replies trying to avoid the conversation

"I agree with Erin, there's definitely something off about him," Nate says

Erin sighs. "I shouldn't have said it, I totally freaked him out," Erin responds looking upset

Blair raises and eyebrow feeling curious. "What exactly did you say?"

"I told him I loved him." Erin looks down. "But he didn't say it back."

"I think I'm going to leave," Dan interrupts.

Blair is startled with Dan's presence. She didn't expect him to attend the party. He looks flustered and is breathing irregularly

"What did Chuck want," Erin asks

"I don't know, he was being weird, but I should really go," Dan replies

"Humphrey, you just got here," Blair says and then notices a speck of blood on his white dress shirt. She steps closer to Dan and tries to get a better look at his lower lip. "Dan, what happened?"

Dan glances at Erin. "Erin, come over after the party."

Blair's eyes widen as she watches Chuck making clinking his champagne flute to make a toast in the middle of the floor. She starts to make the connection when she sees the purple mark Chuck's right eye is holding.

All eyes are on Chuck and she can notice Dan becoming uncomfortable.

"First, I wanted to thank you everyone for attending my party. You truly don't know how much it means to me. Anyways, I wanted to acknowledge a guest, it was an honor to have him attend, Dan Humphrey." Chuck points his champagne flute in the direction of Dan while everyone glances over to Dan.

"As you know, Dan is a very successful writer, his books have even been made into movies. I also wanted to acknowledge my ex-wife, or in other words, Dan Humphrey's muse, the last girl he loved."

Blair glanced over at Erin and saw her wince at the words _the last girl he loved_. She knew Chuck was just trying to scare Erin off, and part of her hoped it would work. Dan having trouble saying those three little words means he either hasn't let her go, or, he's has trouble giving his whole heart to someone because he's been burned.

.

Blair opens the door to Dan's penthouse to watch Erin storm out. He's running his hands through his hair and pacing back and forth in the living room. She steps closer to reach for his shoulder and to her surprise, he doesn't shrug her off.

Dan sighs. "What do you want Blair?"

He looks tired and vulnerable, she could easily take advantage of the situation. Maybe comfort him for an hour, then reach for his cheek to plant a soft kiss on his lips. Blair's confident that she still has some power over him. But she won't do it because she cares about him too much. It's not going to happen like this.

"I just wanted to apologize for reading your diary, I didn't even ask for it to be honest. Penelope stole it without my knowledge. But when she handed it to me, I just couldn't stop myself," Blair explains.

"Why is Penelope even snooping around? Is it because you were scheming to break me and Erin up," Dan asks looking at her quizzically

"Oh please, as if I care who you date," Blair responds haughtily lifting her chin high

"Stop lying to me, I know you still have feelings for me."

"How can you be so sure?" Blair's lips curve slightly as she arches an eyebrow

"Because we ended when you were still happy, all the memories of us are good ones." Dan meets her gaze and steps closer.

She feels his soft slender hands cup her cheek. It feels as though all the weight is on his hand as his thumb slightly strokes her cheekbone.

"You're not mad," Blair asks softly with her eyes shut and taking in his touch.

"When have I ever been able to stay mad at you," Dan replies softly. She opens her eyes to find him smiling lightly. "But you have to let me go like I let you go. I really like Erin." She feels his hand slide off her cheek.

His words sting more than they should. She won't let him see the tears fighting to prickle out.

"More than me," Blair asks hating how her weak her voice sounds

"No, I love you." His face begins to soften.

"Then why," Blair whispers and leans closer to search his eyes for hope.

"It doesn't matter. It's nothing you can fix. So go home, put all your energy in your mother's company, and move on, find someone who makes you happy."

He leans in to press a soft kiss on her forehead and then heads up the staircase into his room.

_He still loves me_

.

Blair needed to speak with someone about this. She didn't know what to do, if she let him go, then they would be over for good. He could eventually fall in love with Erin and even marry her. It would be the unselfish thing to do. Or, she could fight for him and he could be with the love of his life. Yes, Blair knows he will never love anyone more than he loves her. It's conceited, but true and she prides herself in knowing it.

"S, so what do I do," Blair whines as she hides her face in her pillow and lays on her bed with Serena sitting across from her in a sofa.

"He's happy B, just give him what he wants. Erin's good for him, he's been drinking less and he's slowly becoming the Dan I fell in love with," Serena reasons.

"Yes, I could, and it would be the right thing to do, but, I don't think I can get over him." Blair rolls over on her back to face the ceiling. "Ughhh! This is so annoying."

Serena rolls her eyes. "I think you'll get over him," Serena says wryly.

Blair sits up, folds her knees underneath her skirt, and faces Serena. "No, I won't," Blair states firmly

"You always do this."

"Do what?" Blair's brows furrow together in confusion

"You don't move on, that's your problem, you stay hung up on a guy until it completely falls on your face. You should've ended it with Nate a lot earlier then you did. And then there's Chuck, well, I don't think I need explain how that ended," Serena explains leaning in from her chair.

"But Dan's different, I was always happy with him, from when we were only friends to when we were dating." Blair looks down while straightening her skirt. "He never made me cry. I never hated myself. I wasn't even insecure about him being alone with you." She smiles to herself.

Serena sighs. "He'll be at the _Legion_ tomorrow night with Erin and Jenny."

.

To Blair's disappointment, Jenny Humphrey was in attendance at the Brooklyn bar _Legion_. They haven't made amends or even spoken to each other for 5 years. She finds Dan sitting at a table with Jenny and Erin. Jenny looks very different. She lost all the mascara, she still has long blonde hair, and her face is a little older but still very young.

Their eyes widen as she joins their table. She sets her guitar case down and pulls a chair to sit next to Dan and faces Jenny.

She watches Dan tilt his head and glance at her looking a little surprised but speechless, then looks away. "Why don't I get you a drink and don't worry Waldorf, I know what you want." She smiles as she watches him leave.

"Hey Blair." Erin sighs

Erin doesn't look very happy to see her. It doesn't surprise Blair since this is Erin's last night in New York. They both have to fly to Paris tomorrow and won't be back for another 6 months.

"Must've gotten pretty boring once there weren't any more schemes and games," Jenny teases and smirks.

"Watch it little J," Blair replies while gritting her teeth together

"Or what, you'll try to ruin my career? Please, I don't think you want to piss Dan off more than you already have."

"He's already upset with me so you can say I have nothing to lose," Blair retorts

"Why are you even here," Jenny asks as her voice rises

"I'm singing tonight, do you not see the guitar by my side," Blair says and bats her eyelashes.

"Since when do you play guitar," Jenny asks raising an eyebrow

"It's something I it picked up 3 years ago," Blair replies looking at her finger nails.

While Chuck was busy with Bass Industries, she would spend her night's converting her feelings into music. It was something to do when lonely and bored, a hobby to keep her entertained.

"Oh, well it looks like they're setting the stage up for me," Blair says as she stands while picking up her guitar case and walks onto the stage.

.

Blair's sitting on a stool with an acoustic guitar and a microphone in front of her.

"Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf, and I'll be your entertainment for tonight." Blair meets Dan's gaze from the stage. "I wanted to dedicate my first song to Dan Humphrey. Your right, I have to let you go even though you have my heart, and you always will. No one could ever take that away."

_I'm all out of luck__  
But what else could I be?  
I know he's yours__  
And he'll never belong to me again  
I did him wrong  
So don't brag  
Keep it to yourself  
I did him wrong  
I was never no, never no, never enough  
But I can try, I can try to toughen up  
_

Dan's jaw drops as he watches her skin sparkle in the spotlight.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is a little dark and has some angst. I had to write an angst scene between Dan and Blair eventually seeing as though they haven't spoken about the past yet in this story. Thank you for the reviews, hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Gossip Girl**

* * *

He's an ass, everyone knows it, but as Brett Easton Ellis once wrote, _"I let go of the past and look forward to the future."_

Nate's upset with him while Serena's furious. Maybe it's because she lost the penthouse. But in the end, it doesn't matter, he's back in L.A.

.

**Flashback**

_Blair went straight to Dan's place after Erin told her that she had broken up with him. She found him in the living room sitting on the window sill looking into the skyline with his black chino pants and white hand rolled V-neck. His eyes met hers as she sat by his side._

"_I thought you left with Erin," Dan said_

_To her mother's disappointment, she stayed in New York to speak with Dan. She didn't care, it was her chance with Dan. _

"_Erin can cover for me." Her lips curled into a tentative smile. "What happened?"_

"_What do you think happened? Erin's normal, she doesn't want to deal with drama, besides you're her boss, it made everything awkward." Dan leaves her eyes to look back out the window. "You ruined my relationship."_

"_I didn't ruin it, you did, you didn't love her remember," Blair refuted putting her hand on his thigh._

"_You didn't help." _

_Blair tilted Dan's chin with her perfectly manicured fingers to face her. "I was only giving you what you truly wanted," Blair said softly_

"_And what's that," Dan mocked her and laughed bitterly. _

"_Why are you making this so difficult, you know how I feel." Blair brows knit together and her forehead creased. _

"_Blair, you left me for some illusion you thought was love. You think I'm going to forget that." Dan looked at her incredulously. _

"_It wasn't an illusion."_

"_Then why are you here?" Dan's furrowed his brows close together. "He's waiting for you at the Empire and I'm sure he can satisfy you in ways I could never."_

"_Stop," Blair pleaded softly as her eyes became watery. "I don't want to be with him, I want you." _

"_I don't want to be my father. You saw what Lily did to him. I'm not going to be some doormat you can walk all over." _

"_You're not a doormat," Blair cried_

"_Why should I believe you? You crushed me and didn't flinch doing it."_

"_It's been three years Dan! Grow some balls and take a risk. You know nobody will ever make you as happy as I can."_

"_I know," Dan concurred looking away_

"_Then don't push me away," Blair whispered and began to straddle him. "Stop fighting it," Blair added softly as she leaned her forehead against his and cupped his cheeks with her hands while noticing him avoiding her eyes. __"Dan, look at me." Dan met her eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise, I'm in love with you, I can't run away from it anymore."_

"_You don't know what love is. I'm the one who loves you. I was the one who brought you and Chuck together when you were pregnant, it didn't matter how I felt about you, but you couldn't do the same for me. Instead you sent your minions on a quest to destroy Erin."_

"_Maybe I went a little overboard, but you're supposed to love all of me, even my flaws."_

_Dan looked away and ignored her comment. "I already put this penthouse up for sale."_

"_You can't be serious." Blair looked startled by his admission._

"_I'm not coming back, there's nothing for me here." _

"_There's nothing for you here," Blair repeated while holding his gaze._

"_Nothing," Dan confirmed with his eyes never leaving hers._

_She slowly slid off Dan's lap and stood up feeling completely humiliated. "I can't believe I came here." Blair shook her head and looked at him in disbelief. "I left you for Chuck, and I can leave you again without thinking twice about it. You're the one who's going to be scarred by this day. I don't ever want to speak to you again, don't call, don't text, nothing." _

_She turned her heels and stormed out of the penthouse beginning to hate Dan Humphrey._

.

He's 24, single, and living on the Hollywood hills. There are two ways to get over Erin, drink until he passes out, or find a rebound. He thinks he can do both.

.

It's just like Rome, except this time, Georgina isn't trying to seduce him. Sometimes he goes to the trendiest nightclub with his friends or acquaintances that are only with him because of his fame. Other times, he throws parties in his house up on the hills. The architecture of his home is known as_ International Modern_. The walls are made of glass and there's a turquoise pool with lounge chairs. It's got a nice view of Los Angeles and people are impressed, yet, he isn't sure if he's happy.

.

Staring at the girl dancing seductively trying to gain his attention as he sits on his sofa wondering if this is how he pictured his life. A life where he sleeps during the day and preys at night. The old Dan would be disappointed. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. He always thought he was going to marry Serena, but he fell for Blair Waldorf instead. Now, he's sitting on his sofa surrounded by people that hardly know him.

He feels a hand on his shoulder leading him to glance over and find Eric standing beside him.

"Why don't we go out by the pool," Eric asks giving him a warm smile. Dan begins to stand up while holding his drink. "Leave the drink."

.

As they sit on his lounge chair by the pool, he looks into the city and doesn't think he can find a star in the sky. It's worse than New York.

"I guess school must be starting soon," Dan states sitting on the end of the lawn chair with his elbows on his thighs.

Eric is attending his senior year in USC and majoring in Finance. Like his mother, he plans to work for Bass Industries.

"Why haven't you been answering my calls, or anyone's for that matter," Eric asks as his brows furrow in confusion.

"It's just my way of coping with the breakup," Dan explains

Eric arches an eyebrow. "I never thought plausible deniability and Dan Humphrey would mesh." Eric begins to smirk. "This." Eric uses his hand to point in the direction of the party. "Has nothing to do with Erin."

No matter where he goes, Blair Waldorf will always be hanging over his head. It's been a month since they've spoken and he still can't get the image of her walking away in tears out of his head.

"How's Blair," he asks

"I don't know, she's working in Paris, none of us have heard from her," Eric responds

Dan stands up and lights his cigarette staring into the city.

"Just call her, you know your being stubborn," Eric reasons

"I can't just call her, she's working. I don't want to ruin that. Besides, I figured out the plot to my next novel, and you know what happens when I start writing." Dan glances over to Eric.

.

Something clicks, he's changing. Some would say he's growing up, but he thinks it's just the fact that he has officially grieved his father's death and is beginning to move on with his life.

He quits smoking and drinks only on occasion. His days consist of being shacked in his house writing on his laptop and never answering the phone. He shaves every two weeks because he has trouble sleeping when it reaches a certain length.

When he's bored, he calls Lola and they go out to grab a drink or watch a movie. He likes Lola, she's down to earth and normal. She's not a well-known actress, but she's successful enough to have an apartment in West Hollywood.

"You've really calmed down from before," Lola tells him as they sit on his sofa and watch the latest Scorsese movie.

He glances over at her. "I know," Dan says

"You should call Nate, he misses you."

"You've been talking to Nate," he asks looking confused.

.

It's been 6 months since he's spoken to Nate. That streak ends when he finds the blonde on his doorsteps. Nate decided to take 4 weeks off and visit him in California. He thinks it has more to do with Lola then him.

.

He takes a break from writing and they decide to drive through the Pacific Coast Highway. Not much to his surprise, Lola tags along so he brings Eric. They take the long route and it feels like the beauty of the ocean is endless.

They decided to stop at Santa Maria and park by a secluded beach right before the sunset to find dolphins swimming in the ocean. After seeing the dolphins in the orange sunset, he can't understand why he never traveled around California before.

.

"You know Serena's seeing someone," Nate tells him as they eat dinner in the North China Restaurant.

"So," Dan asks

"It's getting pretty serious," Nate says

"Okay," Dan responds shrugging his shoulders not understanding where this conversation is going. He notices Nate looking at Eric.

"He's basically warning you that this might be your last chance with Serena," Eric explains as he chows down on his Lo Mein.

"It's your last chance too," Dan argues

Nate smirks. "I'm not going down that road again."

"Then why are you making me," Dan says sounding offended

"Can you guys stop acting like Serena is some contagious disease," Lola states wryly

They continued to probe him with questions throughout the dinner. Eventually, they get him drunk enough to admit he was in love with Blair leading Eric to give him a knowing smirk.

.

Sleeping in the hotel at Santa Maria was the worst part of the whole trip. Eric and him shared a bed while Nate and Lola shared the other. His eyes fluttered open in the middle of the night to the creaking sounds of Nate's bed.

He didn't go to sleep for the rest of the night.

.

Nate leaves for New York. It's bittersweet, on the one hand, he enjoys spending his time with Nate, on the other hand, he needs to finish his book.

After Nate leaves, he hardly speaks to anyone. He's into deep with his writing and a social life is the last thing on his mind.

.

6 more months have passed and he has only stepped out of his house to go to the grocery store. Lola tells him she's moving back to New York while Eric graduated and left for Bass Industries.

_He's never felt lonelier. _

.

He's 26 and has finally completed his book. Serena calls him to tell him she's engaged. She sounds excited and he's happy for her. He also discovers that Blair's coming back to New York for a month to celebrate.

He shaves, gets a haircut, and packs his bags to catch the next flight to New York.


	8. Chapter 8

He's waiting in Blair's elevator impatiently wondering how she'll react to his presence. Nate told him Serena was catching up with Blair so he hoped Serena could ease the tension between them.

The elevator door opens and he steps into the foyer. He follows the sound of chatter and finds the two in the middle of a discussion holding a glass of wine while sitting on a sofa facing each other.

"Hi," Dan greets dropping his duffle bag to the marble floor.

At first, Blair looks stunned, but then her face hardens and her jaw clenches. Serena on the other hand looks thrilled to see him.

"Dan!" Serena shouts as she stands up to hug him. "It's been too long."

"I know," Dan adds softly

Serena pulls him onto the couch and he sits in-between his exes. He looks to his left to find Blair in the cusp of erupting and then looks to his right to find Serena glowing.

"So, tell me about your fiancé," Dan inquires trying to ease the tension.

"What are you doing here Humphrey," Blair asks sternly before Serena can respond to his question in her strapless black belted dress.

"I'm here for Serena's wedding,' Dan replies

"It's in a month and you're not welcome here, so please, go away," Blair says

"Blair!" Serena scolds her

"See I would, but, I don't have a place to stay," Dan explains looking nervous as he waits for Blair's reaction

"I'm going to go so you two can hash things out," Serena states as she stands up and gathers her things. She looks at Dan. "Dan, please stay, it's been two years and I miss you." Serena then looks at Blair. "Blair, be nice."

Serena heads towards the elevator leaving him to fend for himself.

"Why can't you stay at the loft," Blair asks

"I sold it."

"Why?"

"There were too many memories of you," Dan says staring into her doe eyes hoping she would soften but it had an opposite effect.

"I feel the same way, except my memories are filled with disdain and disgust." Blair scoffs and walks off towards her foyer.

Dan follows her. "Where do you want me to go then?"

Blair stops at the first step of her staircase and turns around. "Go to a hotel," Blair tells him.

"For a month," Dan says as he arches an eyebrow. "I can't believe you would send me to a hotel, is that really how you treat a guest Waldorf."

"Why don't you stay at Nate's or Serena's?" Blair folds her arms against her chest

"They don't have Dorota," Dan teases and steps closer.

"Humphrey," Blair warns him as he steps closer

"Serena's living at her fiancé's place while Nate's living with Lola. I don't want to intrude," Dan reasons as he reaches out to intertwine his hand with Blair's. "I'm sorry, I really am. You had me in the palm of your hand and it freaked me out." He lifts her hand and kisses the back of her palm. "You still do," he adds softly.

He watches her eyes begin to narrow at him as she stares disapprovingly. "Fine, you can take the guest room."

He knows this is a big first step in the process of getting on Blair's good side, but he's surprised she caved in so quickly, it has to be a good sign. Especially since she didn't let go of his hand until they reached the guest room.

.

His eyes flutter open to a light nudging by Dorota. "Mr. Dan," Dorota says shaking him by the shoulder.

"Hmm, Dorota, five more minutes," Dan says groggily turning to his side.

"Ms. Blair waiting for you, says you're too skinny, lose too much weight since last see you, need heavy breakfast."

Dan props up and looks over at Dorota. "She said that?" Dan raises his brows looking hopeful

"Yes, don't tell her I tell you. Now go."

.

He walks into the dining room to find Blair in her silk robe and her hair tied into a bun.

She scrunches her nose to his presence. "Humphrey, you can't just walk around here in boxers," Blair says.

He ignores her comment and sits down at the end of the table while Blair is sitting on the side. He notices her slide a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon towards him.

"So, what have you been up to," Dan asks before taking a bite of his bacon

"I'm not in the mood for small talk," Blair replies looking uninterested

He decides it's best not to push his luck, so he begins to eat his breakfast quietly. As he continues to eat, he can't help but notice Blair looking at him. She either looks away when he meets her gaze or looks at him with the corner of her eye.

Dan sighs. "Blair, I know you're staring."

"I am not," Blair cries in a childish tone causing Dan to rolls his eyes. "How did you lose so much weight?"

"I was busy writing, I didn't have time to work out."

"Well you look awful."

"This is what I looked like when we dated." Dan knit his brows together

"And you wonder why it didn't last," she replied giving him a fake sweet smile

He shakes his head knowing this is only the beginning.

.

Blair was throwing a bachelorette party for Serena, so he decided to go to Nate's.

Going to Nate's was a mistake because Nate drags him back to Serena's Bachelorette party saying he needs to spend as much time as he can with Blair. Dan thinks it's a bad idea and that it will only lead to him being yelled at.

They enter the foyer to find the Serena, Blair, and their friends in dresses. It's just seems like another UES party. Blair notices them and her eyes widen.

"Humphrey, what are you doing here," Blair asks under her breath trying to control her anger.

"I honestly don't know," Dan replies

Nate steps in. "Blair, we're Serena's best friends too, I don't see why we can't be a part of the party," Nate reasons

"What kind of Bachelorette party is this anyway," Dan asks furrowing his brows together looking around

"Yeah, it looks pretty dull," Nate adds

"This can't be what Serena wants," Dan states

Blair rolls her eyes. "The party has only started." Blair then looks at Dan with a devious smile leading him to swallow nervously.

.

He thought Blair would've yelled, maybe kicked them out, but he didn't think she would stoop this low. The girls seemed to be enjoying his misery as they watch him and Nate receive a lap dance from the Male strippers in the living room.

Dan glances over at Nate who seems to be grinning like an idiot. "I hate you," Dan says

"Come on man, it's not that bad," Nate replies as they hear the girls giggling around them

"You can't be serious. His speedo looks as though it's going split in half."

.

He finds Serena by the bar glistening. She tells him about her fiancé Brian, he's 35 and works as the CFO of BNY Mellon.

"Are you sure about this guy," Dan asks

"Of course," Serena says radiantly. "I love him." Serena then looks down at her drink. "There are parts of him that remind me of you."

"You don't still have still have feelings for me, do you?" Dan tilts his head as his forehead creases.

"No, we would never work, I was your second choice," Serena explained.

Dan smiles and his shoulders become less tense. "Okay, good."

As Serena walks away, Nate and Blair walk up to him.

"So what do you think," Nate inquires

"I give it 3 years," Dan replies

"That's exactly what I said," Blair says

"What did you say," Dan asks glancing over at Nate

"It's either going to last 6 months or for the long haul."

"That doesn't make any sense," Dan responds

"Excuse me, I think I just spotted some shrimp," Nate states walking away and leaving him with Blair.

He notices her looking away, but staring at him with the corner of her eyes. It's been so long since he's actually touched her. He can't believe how well she's aged. There isn't a major difference from when she was 21 to 26. The skin on her face is less tight, she's a tinge rounder, which he prefers, and her hair is a lighter shade of brown.

"How've you been," Dan asks

Blair turns to face him. "Great. It's the happiest I've ever been. Working in Paris has been amazing and Chuck's been wonderful," she tells him looking content.

His heart just dropped right in front of her. It feels as though his heart is on the floor for everyone to see and Blair is pressing her high heels against it.

"Wow, that's great." Dan smiles trying to mask his pain.

"Yeah, I know. Chuck's changed, it's like he's different person. And of course, the sex is amazing." She begins to fan herself. "It gets me hot and bothered just thinking about it."

Okay, she is definitely just trying to torture him now.

"What about you, how's your love life," Blair inquires

"Nonexistent." He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm going to fetch a drink." Dan smiles then walks towards the bar hoping to block the image of Blair and Chuck.

.

He leaves the party early believing it was a mistake to come back. California is his home and he should've moved on from these people a long time ago.

Whenever he's down, there's only one person he can talk to

_Eric_

He visit's the Van Der Woodsen's penthouse to have Eric listen to his sorrow. Eric rolls her eyes and tells him Blair lied. Unlike him, Chuck Bass moved on with his life and is dating the daughter of a senator.

His sorrow transitions into anger.

_Son of a bitch_

.

He's tired of her petty games. He knew it was going to be hard for them to be normal again, but her trying to hurt him with Chuck was unnecessary.

He enters the foyer and finds it to be empty. The party is over and it seems all the guests have left. Once he reaches the guest room, he folds his shirt and pants from last night and puts it in his duffle bag. There isn't much to pack since he has only slept here for one night.

"I'm surprised to find you alone. I expected to find a blonde curled around you by now," Blair says stepping into the room. Her brows knit together when she notices him zipping up his duffle bag. "What are you doing?"

"I don't think Chuck would approve of me staying here," Dan explains wrapping the strap of the bag around his neck.

Blair rolls her eyes. "Oh shove it Humphrey, don't pretend like you haven't figured it out yet."

"Okay, well, see ya." Dan started to head towards the doorway as Blair followed him

"Where are you going," Blair asks as they walk down the staircase

"My mom's."

"But you hate your mom," Blair replies as they reach the foyer

Oh god does he hate his mother. She ruined their family by cheating on her father and after his father passed away, he could never look at her. She just reminded him of betrayal. In his eyes, his father died with his mother.

"It's better than having to deal with your verbal abuse."

"Don't pretend like you don't deserve it," Blair huffs folding her arms across her chest.

His jaw clenches and his shoulder tighten as he stops and slowly turns around to face her while standing in the middle of the foyer.

"Oh, I'm sorry for not reciprocating my feelings for you. I mean it's not like you jumped down my throat right after Erin broke up with me," Dan states

"Please, as if Erin actually meant something to you. You haven't even spoken to her since," Blair retorts.

"I didn't reach out to her because she was right. I wasn't over you and our relationship was affecting her career. I let her move on," Dan explains. He notices Blair smirk. "What?

"You'll never be over me." She steps closer. "I bet you spent the past two years writing about me," Blair says pouting her lips. "It's pathetic really."

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He thought he changed, but the resentment is still there.

"Your right, it's pathetic. I should've moved on with Serena when I had the chance, because let's be honest, from a shallow standpoint, it's not even close," Dan replies.

Her jaw drops and she looks stunned by his words. He shakes his head and walks off towards the elevator.

.

Before leaving for his moms, he decides to meet Nate for a drink.

Sitting in a booth by himself and taking a sip of his beer, he was left thinking that Blair might be right, he's pathetic, and he should move on. She really does bring out his dark side, but a part of him likes his dark side. People don't walk all over him anymore.

"Hey," Nate greets him while sliding into the booth. "I heard what happened."

"Already?" He raises his brows leading his forehead to crease

"Blair told Serena, and then Serena told Lola." Nate grimaced slightly. "That was pretty mean man."

"Do you know what she said to me," Dan asks

"No, she just said she was trying to get you to stay and then you called her ugly," Nate tells him.

Dan sighs. "Of course," Dan replies wryly

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go penthouse hunting," Dan replies taking a long sip from his beer jug.

.

Looking for a penthouse was going to be difficult if he planned on staying with his mother. He decided it would be best if he stayed in the Hudson for a week, then, he could stay at Nate's for the rest of the time and look for places to live.

In the end, even after all the drama, he still missed Nate, Eric, and Serena. Before Blair barged into his life again, he was rooming with Serena and enjoying his life.

.

To put it in plain words, living with his mother sucks. Spending time with her only made him relive the memories of their unpleasant holidays together. His father trying to appease everyone while his mother looks as though this is the last place she wants to be.

Allison was always better with Jenny, at least she seems to be somewhat interested in Jenny's career. He doesn't think his mother has read any of his novels.

.

Blair never calls him. Maybe it's time for him to get used to it. She didn't call when he was in California writing.

_He always felt like the girl in their relationship. _

He decides to send Blair flowers and an apologetic note. He also added an awful picture of Serena without make up.

.

Serena and Brian are holding a party in their gigantic penthouse. The first thing he notices about Brian is that he's going to be balding in 5 years. He's got a round face with a droopy nose. In all honesty, he wasn't very good looking.

As the party went on, he started to feel the effects of the champagne he had been drinking. A striking blue eyed blonde started flirting with him and he thought it was best to stay away. Blair didn't need more reasons to be upset with him.

He decided to take a tour of Serena and Brian's place leading him upstairs. First thing he noticed was that they had bad taste in art.

Standing in the hallway, he heard light footsteps against the carpet. Glancing over in response to the noise, he found Blair walking towards him in a silk maroon floor length dress. She pulls him into Serena's bedroom and presses him against the wall.

Before he can respond, she attacks his mouth with her lips. This was the last thing he expected, especially after demeaning her. But he realizes demeaning her did work for Chuck.

Her kisses aren't very soft, their rough and filled with desire. She pulls away slowly while continuing to bite on his lower lip. It's her eyes that do it to him, their pleading him to have his way with her. He spins her around against the wall leading her to moan. He then lifts her up while placing kisses on her neck and rubs his hard member with her warm core.

"I missed you so much," Blair whispers wrapping her arms around his neck. "I was scared you went back to California."

"You didn't talk to Nate," He murmurs in-between kisses on her neck

"They know not to talk to me about you," Blair says. He starts to slide his hands towards her core as he places kisses on her jaw but she gently fends him off with her hand. "No, no, no," she tells him softly. He pulls away and meets her gaze. "Soon, but not here."

He gently lets her down as she has her fingers placed on his lips with her eyes never leaving his.

_God she was sexy_

"Why aren't you angry anymore? Was it the flowers," he asked leaning his forehead against hers. "I bet it was Serena's picture."

Blair smiles. "The picture was a nice touch, but it wasn't the reason," Blair replies. He pulls his forehead away and knits his brows together. "I got your engagement ring in the mail and read the letter attached to it."

_Jenny_

He bought the ring while they were dating because he didn't believe he could love anyone like he loved Blair.

"When were you going to propose," Blair asks cupping his cheek and meeting his gaze

"I don't know, probably not for a while. I was waiting for you to love me as much as I loved you," Dan explains.

"I do now," she replies

He decides he's going to buy Jenny a car for her birthday

She intertwines her hands with his. "Come on, let's go home," Blair says leading him out of the bedroom.

.

It took them 5 years to fix the mess they created for themselves, but now they're here, sitting in a cab, waiting to get to Blair's place.

"How come it wasn't in your diary," Blair asks with her hand on top of his

"Because I was dating you," Dan replies and smiles. "There were certain things I held out of my diary while dating you."

Blair giggles. She then reaches into her purse and hands him the engagement ring box.

"You're not expecting me to propose anytime soon are you?"

"No, of course not. I want to take things slow and make sure we do this right," she concurs

.

As soon as the elevator door shuts, he steps forward until her back is pressed against the wall. He smirks because she has no idea what she's in for. It's been too long since they've had sex, and he wants to make up for lost time.

_Good thing Dorota went home._


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I switched the rating to Mature because I decided to write smut in this chapter. I repeat, this is very smutty. I wanted to try it out and I thought this was a perfect scene to practice writing it with. So, please scroll down to the next dot if you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing. Also, this is a very fluffy chapter, because let's be honest, this story could use some fluff.**

**I hope you guys enjoy**

* * *

Standing in the elevator, Blair stares into Dan's eyes looking salacious. Her back is pressing against the wall and he didn't leave any breathing room as she can feel his hot breath meshing in with hers.

_Ding_

The elevator door opens and she slowly walks backwards never leaving his eyes.

_Cluck Cluck_

She hears her heels against the marble floor of her foyer as she continues to walk backwards, not knowing where she was headed, just knowing there was nowhere else her eyes would rather be. Dan didn't say a word, he just follows her every step until her back hit the wall and she could feel the metal railings of the staircase pressing on the back of her head.

"Is anyone here," Dan asks stepping close enough to feel his thighs in-between her legs.

"We're alone for the night," Blair says softly as her heart's pounding faster and faster

She feels his hand slowly cup her cheek and the other on her lower back. He leans in and presses his soft lips with hers. Dan Humphrey had to have the softest lips in the world. She sucks on his lower lip while his hand was fiddling with the zipper of her dress. Once he pulls away, she lets out a slight moan.

With her hands cupping his cheeks, she nuzzles her nose against his neck before sucking hard enough to leave a mark while he unzips her dress. Her maroon floor length dress fell to the marble floor and all she is left with is her black bra, panties, garter belt, and high heels.

His hooded eyes take her in before unhooking her bra. She watches him tenderly kiss her chest before reaching her right breast. He sucks and bite's, making sure her nipple is nice and hard. She begins to run her hands through his hair and pushes him to continue while moaning with every bite. Of course he paid attention to the left breast as well, Dan Humphrey is a gentlemen.

"I want you," Blair states softly

_Pop_

His mouth leaves her hard nipple to look up and grin

Eventually, Dan gets on his knees and places her left leg over his left shoulder. Her fingers curl around the cool metal railing of the staircase above her head to keep balance as he places soft kisses on her inner thigh. After he unhooks the garter, she watches him intently as he slowly slides her tights off and places kisses until he reaches her ankle.

Once both tights were off, all that is left is her lace panties. Her eyes are pleading him to take them off. As he looks up and meets her eyes, his lips began to curve slightly leading him to finally take her panties off. She watches him crumple them and toss them with the rest of the pile of clothes.

"Your panties were soaked," Dan says and smirks

_Arrogant boy_

"Aren't you a little conceited," Blair questions cocking an eyebrow

"Shouldn't I be?"

"I've had better," Blair replies with a devilish smile.

She then bites her lips as she watches him slowly stand up and step closer until she feels her bare butt cheeks on the wall. He didn't seem fazed, if anything, he seems determined and she loves it. She wraps a leg around his hips and attacks his mouth.

He lifts her up against the wall and feels his hard shaft against her stomach as she has her legs wrapped around his waist. She starts to moan against his lips as he slides his thumb to her clit. He rubs and rubs in circles, and she withers against his body, not thinking, just giving in to the pleasure.

"Dan…please, I need you inside," she pleads as he's sucking on her neck while playing with her clit. "It's where you belong," she whispers in his ear.

Dan pulls away and pins her hands to railing of the staircase. "Don't let go of the railing," Dan tells her as her heels landed on the marble floor.

She stares at him as he goes from kissing her chest to placing kisses right above her clit. He was so close, his tongue is mere inches away. She wants her wetness all over his mouth. But he blew right past her sweet spot and began to kiss her inner thighs.

_Tease_

"Asshole," she hisses

Dan looks up and grins. She wants slap the grin off his face and then fuck him silly.

Instead of responding to her words, he turns her around and brings her closer. She feels her back pressed against his chest and his warm cheeks against hers as he slowly inserts two fingers inside her.

"Dan," she whimpers

Her face turns and his lips met the side of her mouth. Her skin begins to flush and beads of sweat began to form as he thrusts his fingers in and out while she cries against his lips.

_She's so close_

To her disappointment, he pulls his fingers out. But the disappointment doesn't last as he slides his pants and boxers off leading her to stick her bare ass out. After tossing his pants and boxers to the pile of clothes, he presses her back to his chest again. As his cheeks graze hers, she felt his erect shaft rubbing her opening.

"I've been waiting for 5 years," Dan says softly in her ear as she felt his hands grabbing on to her breasts.

"You don't have to wait anymore, I'm yours forever," Blair replies then turns her head and pulls him into a kiss.

As he enters, they both groan simultaneously. She grabs the railing on the staircase with her hands as he begins to thrust back and forth. She can't help but scream in pleasure with him making her feel this way.

_Thank god Dorota isn't here. _

"I felt lost without you," Dan says softly by her ear as he holds her breast.

"Dan!" She cries in ecstasy as she becomes undone.

He turns her around and lifts her against the wall as she wraps her legs around him. They're facing each other eye to eye with her arms wrapped around his neck as her flushed breast rise and fall with every breath.

_It's his turn_

Blair begins to run her fingers through his damp hair while never leaving his eyes.

"I love you," she moans softly as her breathing becomes heavy.

"How much," he asks as he continues to plow back and forth.

"Too much," she cries and then leans in to meet his lips. After wrestling with Dan's tongue, she pulls away breathless to meet his eyes. "You have no idea how you make me feel." He gives her a hard thrust, "Dan!" A small shriek escaped her lips as she yelped his name leading Dan to smile.

"I don't think I would be able to breathe if you left me again," Blair whispers staring at his brown orbs.

She notices his eyes beginning to soften. Looking into his eyes, she's doesn't think she has ever felt more loved.

She knows he's close, but she feels a second orgasm threatening to spill. "I'm so close. Just hold it for me a little longer my love."

And he does because he would do anything for her.

She reaches her climax first and he follows not shortly after. After reaching their peaks, he slowly lets her feet fall to the floor and pulls out breathless and drained.

.

Its 3 A.M and Blair feels exhausted but completely content. She's lying on top of Dan naked with her cheek pressed against his bare chest on her bed. She finds it impossible to wipe the smile off her face. As he runs his hands through her hair, she peppers his chest with loving kisses.

With Dan, it's different because she knows this is it. She's experienced all kinds of love and there is nothing comparable to this.

She feels him grab her waist to slide her closer to his face. She gives in and straddles him as he follows her by propping himself up so that his back was against her bed's headboard. She then feels his fingers brush the strand of hair from her face.

"I don't think I can go to sleep," Dan says

Blair smiles. "Me either, I'm just…. just." Blair looks down but then feels him cup her cheek. She melts onto his hand as he lightly strokes her cheek with his thumb.

"Excited," he finishes her sentence

"Thrilled," Blair adds as she leans her forehead against his.

"I have something for you," Dan tells her softly leaning in to meet her lips

"What," she asks softly against his breath as Dan pulls away.

Dan grins and places her on the side of his bed. He then slides off her bed to put his boxers on.

"I asked Dorota to place this in your bookcase," Dan explains as he walks toward her bookcase. She watches him pull out a thick manuscript from her bookcase and realizes it must be a hard copy of his new novel.

"What if I noticed it," Blair asks with a smirk as Dan sits on the bed.

Dan hands her his novel. "I was hoping you did." She takes the hard copy from his hands. "It's a gift for you." She furrows her brows in confusion. "I wanted to make it up to you for writing the sequel to _Inside_."

"Dan," Blair says softly. "You didn't need to do this."

Dan looks away. "I hated the fact that I was the bitter ex-boyfriend. I never wanted to be that guy." He goes back to her eyes. "So I wrote you a fairytale."

"I don't understand," Blair states knitting her brows together

"This book is your own fairytale. You're the protagonist, a princess," Dan explains with a grin. "It's got its villain and mythical creatures, but it's about you finding your way to your prince."

Dan wasted two years of his life writing something for her. Yes wasted, because this is something his agent will be upset about. It's a genre which is very difficult to succeed in, especially in this day. She knows he loves her, but it's still difficult to comprehend he's willing to do this for love.

"I wanted to give you something that you could read to your daughter," Dan continues as she presses the hard copy against her chest and her face softens.

_Our daughter_

"Your fans will be disappointed having to read something for children, you're known for writing dark stories," she says

"Oh well."

"What about your career?"

"I have more than enough money, but I'm happy to know you have very little faith in my writing skills."

Blair laughs lightly. "You're such an idiot." Blair leans in to meet his lips. "You're just wasting your talent," she murmurs against his lips.

He pulls away and leans his forehead against hers. "I made Serena the villain," Dan tells her smiling

Blair giggles. "She's going to be furious. I can't wait to tell her." Dan chuckles.

As Dan sleeps by her side, she begins to read his novel. She can't believe he actually named the protagonist Princess Blair. Like her, the princess is brunette, has doe eyes, a little bit spunk, and a dimple filled smile.

It takes her 8 hours, but she finally finishes it. Dan told her that it was the most difficult and time consuming piece of work he has ever written, but she believes it to be well worth it because the story's incredible. It instantly became her favorite novel, even surpassing _Inside_. Maybe she is wrong, this can make him a lot of money.

.

Her eyes flutter open to an empty space on her bed. She glances over to the clock to find it to be five o'clock in the afternoon. Sliding off the bed and slipping on a silk robe, she walks down the staircase.

"Dan," she calls as she steps onto the foyer.

"Mr. Dan not here," Dorota tells her stepping into the foyer.

"Oh, well did he leave a message," she asks walking towards the dining room with Dorota following her.

"No Ms. Blair."

Blair pulls a chair to sit in the dining room. "I need you to make me coffee, then call Humphrey and ask him where he is," Blair requests looking up to a standing Dorota. She notices Dorota's eyes beginning to narrow at her. "What?"

"You very dirty Ms. Blair. Your mother be very disappointed."

"What are you blabbering about," Blair asks exasperatedly

"I found panties in foyer, as my mother said to me, keep…" Dorota explains

Her eyes widen. "Dorota!" Blair scolds. "One more word about my sex life and I will have you deported to Poland where you can sell shoes in some village," Blair snaps with a hint of blush creeping in on her cheeks. "Now make me some coffee and I will speak to Humphrey myself."

She was slightly disappointed to learn that Dan is with a real estate agent looking at penthouses. It's stupid of her to think he would live here, especially after she told him she wants to take things slow.

.

Lily invites Dan and her to dinner at the Van Der Woodsen penthouse. She glances over to Dan in the elevator to find him wearing a converse black canvas hooded jacket over his dark grey long sleeve Henley and navy blue chino's. She has to admit, he started dressing a lot better. Before, it was either a plaid flannel or t-shirt with jeans. Maybe it's because he has more money than he knew what to do with.

"Why is Lily inviting us to dinner," Blair asks knitting her brows together

It hasn't even been a day of them being together and they're already having a dinner thrown for them.

"Maybe because you couldn't keep quiet about it," Dan replies with a smirk

Blair narrows her eyes at Dan. "Like you didn't tell Nate."

"I didn't." Dan shrugs

"What does Lily care anyway," Blair scoffs folding her arms across her chest

"She feels responsible for me, she's knows I'm not very close with my mother," Dan explains then looks down. "Lily's kind of always checked up on me after my father passed away."

Her features soften and she begins to feel awful for not realizing how very little family Dan has.

She steps closer to press him against the elevator wall. "Hey," she says softly looking up into his eyes. His lips begin to curve into a smile. "Do you remember that one time we were in here," Blair asks wiggling her brows as she looks up into his eyes.

"I do," Dan replies with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes

It looks as though he's trying to mask the pain of thinking about their time in this elevator. She loves that memory.

"I love the memories of us together. Don't you?"

"I like to pretend it never happened," Dan replies and looks away

She cups his cheek to tilt his head to meet her eyes. "Dan," she says softly with a tone of vulnerability.

Dan leans his forehead against hers and she closes her eyes. "The pain will always be there, I can't do anything about it."

The elevator door opens and she wraps her arm around his to enter the penthouse.

.

As they entered the Lily's penthouse, they find Nate, Eric, and Chuck drinking in the corner of the living room while Serena and Lily are sitting on the couch.

Serena's eyes light up as she sees them enter the living room. "Hey!" Serena greets excitedly as she goes to hug Blair. "Aww B, you're glowing."

Blair rolls her eyes. "Thanks."

Dan goes in the corner to grab a drink with the guys while she sits on the couch and gets hammered with questions. She didn't tell them much because she wants everything between her and Dan to be private.

They begin to have dinner which is quiet in the beginning, but she knows that won't last.

"So Daniel, what are your plans," Lily asks

"Well, I'm probably going to stay in New York for a while," Dan replied

"And get his book published," Blair adds

Nate knits his brows together. "You wrote another book."

"I did, but my agent didn't even know I was writing it so I still have to see if she'll approve of it," Dan says

"Well, I'm confident it will get published, and if I may add, he made Serena the villain," Blair states

"Dan!" Serena scolds Dan as he looks down and rubs his forehead as Blair giggles. "Can you for once stop patronizing me in your books?"

"What about me, should I be calling my lawyers," Chuck inquires with a smirk

"No, no one else is in the book, not even me," Dan replies

She's starting to get bored and decides to have fun with Dan. She slides her hand onto Dan's thigh and watches his eyes widen.

"Not to ruin the mood, but I have to ask, what happened to Erin, is she okay with you two," Chuck asks

Dan grabs her wrist from under the table and pulls it off his thigh. "Yes, because you're obviously rooting for me and Blair to work out."

"She actually left Waldorf Designs for another firm." Blair then glances at Dan. "I lost an important asset because Daniel here couldn't keep it in his pants." She slides her hand back on to Dan's thigh and begins rubbing.

Dan glares at Blair. "I'm wearing navy blue, it will stain and everyone will see it," Dan mutters under his breathe

"Is that really supposed to discourage me," Blair teases cocking an eyebrow.

"God you can be a bitch." Dan tilts his head to the ceiling

"You know you love it Humphrey."

Serena furrows her brows in confusion. "What are you guys murmuring about?"

"What do you want," Dan asks under his breath ignoring Serena

"I want you to spend the whole day shopping with me tomorrow," Blair replies by his ear.

"Blair's giving me a handjob under the table," Dan tells them and everyone's jaw drops while Blair's eyes widen.

_Dam him_

Dan stands up. "So I'm going to go and let you guys enjoy your dinner. Lily, thanks for the invitation, Chuck, I wouldn't mind not seeing you again."

Dan walks away and heads towards the elevator.

"Sorry," Blair apologizes as she tosses the table cloth on the dinner table and follows Dan.

She grabs her coat and slides in before the elevator door closes. She then pins Dan against the wall while grasping his lapels.

"You're an ass, but I must admit, you got me good," Blair says

"I learned from the best," Dan replies as he lifts her up and pins her against the other side of the wall in the elevator.

"Oh so now you want to play," Blair states wrapping her hands around his neck as he kisses her neck.

.

After leaving Lily's, they went back to her penthouse and sat on a small brown leather ottoman in front of the fire in her fireplace.

"I'm so gone for you Dan Humphrey," Blair murmurs as she continuously grazes her cheeks and nuzzles her nose against his jaw and neck taking in his scent while he holds his glass of bourbon.

Dan smiles. "You're getting soft on me Blair," Dan says before his lips touch the glass. "I really do love your penthouse."

"So do I," she replied softly

They haven't had the chance to talk about what they've been up too. So they decide to stay up all night, drink, and chat away the past few years. He tells her about how boring it was in California and she tells him about how busy she was in Paris.

"Did you date anyone," Dan asks facing her as they sit on her bedroom floor with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses.

"I've had my fair share of dates," Blair replies with a smirk. "You?"

"No."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I meant did you sleep with anyone?"

Dan smiles and shakes his head. "I haven't slept with anyone for over a year." He then takes a sip from his wine glass. "I think I just realized that it's stupid to be bitter. I still have so many more years to live, why not spend those years with someone I love."

Blair looks down and smiles to herself. "I want you to come to Paris with me," she tells him lifting her head to look at Dan

"I thought you wanted to take things slow," Dan replies knitting his brows together as he watches her crawl to him.

"I don't want to be apart anymore," she says and cups his cheek. "I'm 26, I've been with enough men to know this is different," Blair reasons leaning her forehead against his. "Besides, you were in love with me for a year before we actually dated, obsessed even." Dan chuckles. "So don't tell me that you think there could be an actual chance this won't last."

"I never said that, you know how I feel." Blair pulls her forehead back and smiles. "I would love to come to Paris with you, but I'm going to have to stay in New York for a bit, my book still needs to get published."

She grins and leans in to meet his lips. "I'm really happy you decided to come with me," Blair murmurs against his lips.

Dan pulls away. "So am I, Paris in the winter sounds amazing."

Blair clasps her hands together. "Oh, and you'll be there for Christmas with my family."

"Anything sounds better than spending Christmas at my mothers," Dan adds

She hate's how very little family Dan has. She wonders what he does for the holidays, maybe he spends it with Jenny, but she knew that hasn't been the case for the past two years now.

She takes his hand and presses it to her chest while leaning her head against his. "You know you're my family now," Blair tells him softly

"I know," Dan replies softly closing his eyes


End file.
